Hi, I'm Jessica

AKA your Betrayed Bestie

Betrayal Trauma + Breakup Coach

Founder + CEO | Betrayed Bestie, LLC

My Story:

After experiencing betrayal trauma in my marriage, I went on an intense healing journey. Over the past 2.5+ years, I have read 100 personal development books, listened to countless hours of podcasts, taken several courses, tried several different healing modalities, spent over 200 hours in therapy and coaching, and several thousands of dollars. Basically, healing has been part-time job. At first, I was extremely resentful for having to heal from something I didn't ask for. But once I dove into the world of personal development and life coaching, everything changed. I was able to access a higher level of consciousness and developed so much wisdom and resilience because of it. I went from being someone with low self-esteem to someone who genuinely loves herself. For the first time in my life, I had my own back. Though my husband did not choose recovery and my marriage did not make it, I did! I went through a beautiful transformation, and I want to help others do the same (for a lot less time and money.) I have done extensive study in sex/porn addiction, infidelity, betrayal trauma, emotional/ psychological abuse, breakups/divorce, and grief. In addition, I have completed a life coach training program that specializes in Law of Attraction, mindset shifts and subconscious reprogramming.

My goal is to bring a Gen-Z perspective to the betrayal trauma space. On my own journey, I realized that a lot of the material out there didn't apply to me. I was often the youngest one in the support groups I joined and I found myself being unable to relate to the women who had been married for several years, had co-parenting issues, etc. I still received so much support from these groups, but I longed for someone "like me." Sex addiction books/material often give examples of people who experience betrayal in their mid-life, and advise that recovery for an addict takes 3-5 years. If you have been married for several years or have children together, you may think this time is worth it (and it certainly can be, if your partner is committed - no matter how long you've been married!) However, it was very discouraging as someone who had only been married for 1 year and together for a total of 5. That was basically asking me to bet my entire relationship on his recovery. Also, many of the resources out there are for people who want to save their marriage (which was initially my goal), and divorce seemed like an afterthought to the authors. There would be several chapters on the disclosure and healing process, and then a random little section that can be summed up as "The addict may not pursue recovery and the partner may choose to terminate the relationship".... Okay, what are you supposed to do with that?! Not pursuing reconciliation almost felt like failure and there was no clear roadmap for moving forward without your partner.

I want to emphasize: choosing yourself is not a failure. Through this difficult time in your life, you have an amazing opportunity to rewrite your story, find meaning and healing, and discover what you really want in your life. I would love to walk this road with you and empowering you to assert and advocate for yourself in your grief, and lean on internal and external resources to develop resilience.